Brain cracks are falling in my head
But that doesn’t mean my thoughts will not be sunny
Yet, I don’t like to give
up,
Those brain cracks are falling in my head
They keep fallin’
My MS has led to what I call cracks in my brain.
Sometimes, in the dark of night, I wake up to go to the bathroom, and upon returning to bed I can’t go back to sleep. My mind springs awake and I go over the same things many, many times. The cracks let the thoughts in and then trap them.This phenomenon typically only impacts me during the school year when I have to teach. I get maybe 2 good nights a week. It has been wearing me down for a couple of years. Summer is my haven. I have 5 or 6 good nights during the break. I love summer (even with the heat that hurts my MS symptoms) for that reason.
So, these cracks in my brain trap songs, ideas, worries, problems neatly in my head. How can you get them out? I am desperately hanging on to my job, you know how hard it is to lose half your income. My neuro gave me some meds to help, but when you wake up at 2:00, it seems like a bad to medicate at that late hour. He wants me to medicate daily to prevent, but if I wake up later, they don’t work any more because they aren’t narcotic.
So, I move to the family room and watch things that don’t make me think, like Judge Judy or other brainless, monotone show and that usually does the trick. I fall back asleep in an hour or so in the chair until one of the kids or Mossy wakes up.
I used to love going to bed and waking up refreshed and ready for the new day. I am definitely a morning person, but this has hampered my enthusiasm.
4 comments:
I completely understand the sleep situation, although I do not have MS. You are facing things everyday, but to be deprived of sleep, the time to regenerate, must be frustrating. I am sure you have tried many meds, ideas, to sleep. And teaching, although rewarding, is not forgiving.
Good luck with your sleep...
I too have problems with my sleep, and keep waking up, the only thing that seems to help me with the thoughts thing is TV as it is a complete distraction, and then I fall asleep again in front of it, which it sounds as if you are doing pretty much exactly!! One of the suggestions which I tried & didn't work for me though is writing them down on paper as they stop running then, have you tried that?
I do use sleeping tablets, but only every couple of weeks and then for a few days. I find if I use them they reset me for a bit, and I settle down again, but you do have to take them at bedtime.
Firstly I am ok, just been having a not good patch, so I am now just gently visiting friends, and getting back into the swing of things!!
"But there's one thing I know...
the placque they sent to meet me
won't defeat me...
And it won't be long 'til Sunny days reach up to greet me... =)
Raindrops was always one of my favorate songs.
I've got the same sleep problems...waking at 3:00 a.m. to use the bathroom and trying sooo hard not to let my brain wake up, too. But usually it's up and at
'em, just like you say, relentlessly getting through the "cracks". The meds I take are for panic attacks, and I take 1/2 when I wake up and then listen to my little MP3 player to soothing nature music like streams and ocean surf. Sometimes this works and I fall asleep. When it doesn't I just try to listen over and over to the music.
It's a pain because my "worry" motor kicks in big time and everything I can think of that might go wrong in my life whirls through.
Hope very much that you can find a way to get sleep..it is MUCH needed by us. I have found that my primary care doctor is more in tune with sleep problems than my neuro...maybe that's something to explore.
I too am a victim of brain cracks. For as long as I can remember I have been this way. My problem is that it starts even before I initially fall asleep for the night. I find that I can't shut my brain off. Hence the anxiety meds my dotor put me on. I also have been prescribed a mild sleep aid but am afraid that my body will become addicted and I will not be able to fall asleep without it. I try very hard not to take it. I have also found that writing helps a lot. I will write about everything that is floating through my brain and stop once I have finished. Even if it is 2 in the morning I will do it. It is the only way to free my brain. I also watch tv. They say it is not good to fall asleep to the tv but it helps me. If I wake up I turn it off and go back to sleep.
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