Abortion

With abortion entering the current political climate, I got to thinking about this hot button topic.

There was a pregnant wife of an airman at the Air Force base near Spokane when I was in college. Pres. Reagan happily enforced a government employee rule banning late term abortions. This young woman, married and happy to be pregnant, found she had a child that had no higher brain at all. It had only the ‘lizard’ brain that controls basic functions. Because of this, the fetus was moving within her uncontrollably all the time. As it was missing much of its brain, it would not survive a day outside the womb. So, because of politics, she wasn’t covered by insurance to end the pregnancy. And I believe she was 6 months along at the time. So, she was condemned to spend months with thrashing within her own body, waiting for her child to die. And yet, the government said it wouldn’t endanger her health, the only excuse possible (I guess mental health didn’t count). As she and her husband were young, they had no money to pay for their own abortion. I never did hear how it all worked out. I do remember hearing that people were organizing to gather money to pay for a late term abortion for her. I hope she survived and went on to bear other healthy children. I can’t even imagine the horror of that situation.

It is so easy to stand on a pedestal of rigid thinking and say that it is ALWAYS this or that. Life is not so easy. Theories are nice and clean. My daughter is not a theory.

After my daughter proved to have disabilities that no one could explain, we faced our own questions. Should we have another child? Would it also have her problems? Would it be fair to her to have less time to maximize her support? Would she have a quality life? Would another child? What if, even with precautions, we got pregnant? We spent years on these questions. Fortunately, we never had to decide what to do with an unplanned pregnancy. But I have to ask, is it anyone else’s decision? Mossy and I should be the ones to make such decisions with our doctor. Why should the government be involved? A politician should better know what we should do? Would anyone else deal with the life long implications of such a child? We have seen first hand how family stays away because they don’t know how to help or don’t want to deal with the burden.

Don’ tell me the rhetoric about baby murder. It’s more complicated than that. All babies aren’t healthy. Danger to mothers is a given. Historically, many women died in childbirth. We tend to forget that. Babies grow up. Someone has to raise them.Just making a baby doesn’t give it a good life. Could you spend 3 months with a mindless, thrashing baby in your body 24/7? I couldn’t and I dare not sit in judgment of another.

After we adopted our second child, a friend hesitated to tell me of her daughter’s recent abortion. She had been in high school, and they struggled mightily as a family when faced with an unplanned pregnancy. My friend thought I would be opposed to abortion, given our adoption. I assured her that what they decided was the best for them. How can I tell them how to deal with such a difficult situation? How could anyone?