Stuck in a Winter Wonderland

This is the view from my computer. This is as close as I will go to outside! It is snowing, but small, hardly visible flakes.

Snow, snow, and then more snow. We had no snow all through November and then it hit us sooooo hard. Spokane has been closed. Seattle is paralyzed. My little school, however, is like the Little Engine That Could. We didn’t miss a day. We even had our Winter Program. I expected a poor turnout, but basically everyone was there. Up here, we are used to crappy roads and snow.

It is hard though, so relentless. They have broken records for all time in Spokane. And the snow only lets up when it gets cold enough to freeze your nose shut in the first inhale. It was -15 yesterday in Spokane, with wind chill, -23. I think it was even colder up here. Today it is ‘warmed’ up to almost 0, so now we have snow falling again!

That was one of the reasons I hated living in Montana. It was as cold as -40 in winter, with constant wind. The snow would blow over the road and get as hard as concrete. You would have to bash through to drive anywhere. Everyone had engine heaters and cars had to be plugged in 24/7 if you had a prayer of getting it started.

So I am hiding inside, waiting for a break in the weather. School got out last Friday so I have no place to go. Happy for that! I need a haircut, but it will wait. My friend was going to Hawaii and the Spokane airport was closed, so it got cancelled. What an awful end to their plans. Good year to have no travel plans. I plan to eat too much, drink too much, watch movies and read, play games with the family, and keep warm.

This is a tree outside my window:

We are the RC

Recovering Christians. As we try to preserve traditions of our families and move toward new belief systems, we have expanded our traditions to include other cultures in addition to the one we were born into. Our tree has a wide variety of ornaments (I don't like boring ball ornaments).

We added a Festivus Pole last year (so funny if you are in the know) We don't have the airing of grievences or feats of strength parts, just the fun of the silly pole. If you don't know, google Festivus. It was from the Jerry Seinfeld show. Side note: I read Assassination Vacation by Sarah Vowell and she wrote at length about the Oneida Commune. They had a weekly airing of complaints meeting. I guess Seinfeld didn't make it up on his own!

We also have a menorah this year. We learn about the origins of Hanukkah in my class and the kids play dreidel and learn the meaning of the holiday. I have added the Dreidel Song to our holiday song books. Wish I knew more.

We could do Santa Lucia of Sweden, where the eldest daughter serves the family rolls with a advent wreath on her head with lit candles. But I think having G wear a crown of flaming candles would end in the loss of life and our home. So we will choose life.

This year, our Japanese intern moved to her next house right after Thanksgiving, so we put up our stuff early so she could experience it. It is so much fun to share traditions with guests.

Happy Solstice, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Christmas, Happy New Year!

A New Day

Alice, in the Twilight vampire series, always says that she can see the future once a decision is made. I made a decision yesterday and it is like the clouds have finally begun to clear. It may seem strange, but it was the decision to not rely on others. Seems so negative, but once I made it, I began to climb out of my hole of sadness. Self reliance is something I value highly in myself, so I guess it needed to be reawakened.

So, friends, be there for me or not. I will be there for me.

Lost in the Fog

When things are right with the world, I function fairly well and am seen as a strong person. This is always a surprise to me, seeing my physical frailties. I can barely walk. But my friends see me as some sort of superwoman, able to do anything. So I find that now I am in crisis mode, I can’t find the support I need. Usually, I turn to Mossy Man and he to me, but I must be ‘Strong, supportive Wife’ now when things are hard for him. He is doing really well at the moment; optimistic and strong in his search for a new job. Our son continues to add to the mix by being difficult at every single turn.

So I hate that I have these needs. I turned to my best friend for help. Lord knows, I have been there for her. But she has nothing to give back. I can’t hold it against her, she has plenty of her own serious burdens. But what’s a girl to do? I am struggling and need someone to lean on, besides Mossy. I am so saddened by my best friend’s inability to help me when I need it. And it hurts her deeply to see me flailing about and she feels unable to help.

So I reach out to cyber world for advice. What to do? How to get through this? I want to be Sunny again.